Ive been away from Preston and Gabby for close to 4 years now and I have discovered that there are many different types of feelings when you miss your own children. There is also different versions of loneliness you go thru as well. I usually spend most of my time with Gabby because her schedule is much more flexible - Preston swim schedule has him swimming almost 365 days a year so time with him is scarce.
Read MoreHeres the situation... You are a coach, you spend so much time away from home and your partner is on your ass about everything - from the trash, to the lack of time... you probably hear things such as "I didn't marry to be a single parent" or "you don't care enough to spend time with me/us..." it happens all over the country and you are not alone!
Read MoreThere was a time I was trying to compete against the ex-wife. Being a coach you train yourself and your players that there are winners and there are losers... I brought that same mentality to my divorce. It took me a while to take a deep breath, a step back and be better.
Read MoreBeing a coach I love watching my daughter play basketball - love seeing her compete, play hard and feel the same sense of team that I did growing up.
There is something wrong with that statement... Ill talk about it more a little later.
Read MoreIt is been three years since my kids moved back to Los Angeles… And it never gets easy. This morning I was looking at some pictures from right before they left North Carolina and I started to get emotional, my mood went down and I literally didn't want to move...
Read MoreWork/life balance? What is that? Something myself and many others, maybe even you have been searching for.
I am a husband. I am a father. I am a leader. I coach basketball.
I love what I do and do what I love. I am truly living the dream. But living the dream can be hard too. It’s fun, exciting, challenging, frustrating, fulfilling. I am working on figuring it all out.
Read MoreFor 17 years I roamed the halls of the schools I worked at and would reply when asked how I was doing by co-workers with a proverbial “Living The Dream” and for a time that was true. People would believe I was living the dream and that all was ok in my world. But, in reality, I was just saying those words to mask the fact I was too scared to actually attempt to live my dream.
Read MoreAs a coach I've never really pressured my kids into playing basketball… I always wanted them to forge their own way and be their own person. Duke is my first women's coaching job and before that I coached men for over 10 years. Preston always played basketball and for a time he played in different leagues before fully committing himself to swimming. But my daughter Gabby didn't really like basketball... She always wanted to do different things.
Read MoreI have spent two decades being a surrogate father to players and helping them In a holistic sense along the way. Many have had wounds from their family situation and need healing and guidance. Throughout the years, the idea of being a good father has came to the forefront of my priorities. It has replaced the hunt for money, wins, extensions, and the next best job. Being a dad that I can be proud of is basically the only thing I want to get right on my time here on earth. However, the demands on my time, schedule and geography constantly pull me away from my one true priority.
Read MoreBeing a father in the coaching world is a very difficult combination… Having your kids over 3000 miles away feels almost impossible...
I am blessed to speak with coaches who are also dads and many of them say the same thing - outsiders look at our lives and think that it's so amazing that we get to travel an impact young people… But for many of us it is very difficult to impact the ones around you and feel as if you have little to no impact with your very own kids.
Read MoreFor many of us this past Monday was the first day of school. I woke up this morning and was making some sandwiches and I realized one of things I miss most was actually making lunch for my kids every morning. It's funny when I was actually making lunch for them I dreaded it and now it's one of things I miss the most! Lol!
Read MoreMuch like many of my colleagues, I spent the first weekend of April this year in Indiana, watching some great basketball and attending the WBCA Conference held in Indianapolis. I can there to learn from the best, gain some knowledge and fill up on inspiration. What and who I came across surprised me.
Read MoreOk… Im sure by the title everyone thinks that I dislike the king of chicken juggernaut - its actually the opposite… I truly enjoy their Spicy Chicken and Chicken salad sandwiches - they are very hard to resist. What I really meant was that its hard going to a Chick Fil-A, a Wendys, Dennys or any other establishments where you see parents and their kids.
Read MoreWe're starting something very exciting here at ABC - in the last few months we have been receiving emails from male coaches from all around the country wanting to talk about the struggles and joys of being a dad in coaching. It is a topic that is very dear to my heart because I am a dad of two amazing children - Preston who is 15 and my daughter Gabby is 12.
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