It bothered me more than I thought... #alwaysdad
As a coach I've never really pressured my kids into playing basketball… I always wanted them to forge their own way and be their own person. Duke is my first women's coaching job and before that I coached men for over 10 years. Preston always played basketball and for a time he played in different leagues before fully committing himself to swimming. But my daughter Gabby didn't really like basketball... She always wanted to do different things. Then when I started coaching the women at duke she began to have some interest and honestly I was excited. I was happy that she found something she wanted to do and looking back at it now I was very happy that she wanted to play a sport that I was involved in. I put Gabby in different training classes and she eventually played a few AAU season's and she would attend all the Duke women's basketball camps and I just loved watching her compete.
She's been living in California now for close to three years and she called me a few weeks back, I could tell in her voice she was nervous, she was bouncing around from subject to subject and she finally said she needed to talk to me… She told me "dad I don't think I want to play basketball anymore and I hope I don't hurt your feelings." At that moment my mind immediately shifted to "well if she's not going to play basketball then she has to find an activity that will keep her busy". She was so nervous that she really didn't even think about what she wanted to do. I'm pretty sure she heard the disappointment in my voice. I kept telling her, "Gabby it has nothing to do with you playing basketball or not I just want you to stay busy with something"… I told her it really wasn't about basketball... Looking back at it now I wish I would have handled it differently...
As our season is about to start its hitting me harder than I thought. I always loved going to her games. I was hoping that if she made the high school team that I would be able to go watch her in the layup lines, cheer on her teammates and be part of a team. I guess I never realized how much it would affect me. A part of me feels bad that I felt this way because I never want my daughter to think or feel that she is disappointing me. I want to be a very supportive dad, I want her to be comfortable, I want her to be confident but I guess selfishly I wanted her to play…
I will miss watching her do drills, I will miss watching her cheer on her teammates, and I will miss giving her hugs when she's all sweaty from playing hard. But I am excited to see what the future holds! I plan on being supportive and a loving dad - helping guide her through life as she finds her own path and follows things that she truly loves! I love you Gabby and I am very proud of you...